An Unfair Dispensation

Growing up in the 80s, I realised that the world seemed to revolve around boys and men,they tended to be taken seriously. In most homes,they were treated as Lords, accorded utmost respect and they could do no wrong. On the other hand, girls were gloriously treated like a curse,a plague and tools. Most girls were given little or no formal education, whereas boys were thoroughly academically trained with the hope of taking over the family’s business and fortune.

Of course, the nasty belief ‘ I am special because I am a male child’ is inculcated and continues in adulthood, their word is law and final as if the King has spoken. Even, the worst mannered of them all is revered because he is ‘a man’, he stands to urinate, so he is kingly. Unfortunately, most of these male species are never taught how to be responsible, courteous, diligent, godly, loving, diplomatic, matured and caring. Majority of them go about with egotism: because they are of the belief that they are the best thing that happened to women after Adam.

The consequence is a wife beater, a cheat, a paedophile, an indolent man, an irresponsible father and husband, one who is jealous of his wife’s achievements, yet, he will not plunge into something constructive to feed his family and move it forward. Many a time, he prefers taking advice from his mother because he is not a man of his own. He lacks discipline and coordination. He lacks foresight and has no plans for the future.

We spend most of our time imparting values and survival skills into the girl child but leave the male child to train himself, this is so unfair and unfortunate. We, as parents need to step up our game. We must train our boys and young men on how to be close to God, independent, compassionate, decisive, strong, responsible, diligent, thoughtful, courageous, hopeful, organized, humble, alert, prayerful and intuitive. We cannot be lackadaisical about this, after all, they are the head of the home.

Fathers bond with your sons, teach them life lessons, let them know the consequences of their actions. Fathers, this is a wake up call. Do not distort the perception of your sons, every child is equal before God, none is better than the other. Hug your sons, tell them that you love and believe in them. They need to be reassured constantly, this saves the family dealing with issues of low self-esteem, depression, hopelessness, suicidal thoughts or even crime.

A well-trained man full of compassion and virtue makes his wife at peace and in return, a peaceful home will emerge. It’s our collectivity to groom the male child to be responsible and successful.

Jane Ikegulu is a lover of children and the youths, her heart is drawn towards family life and its challenges.







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Jane Ikegulu

Jane Ikegulu is an oracy coach who trains and grooms students as well as individuals on self-confidence, Phonetics and public speaking. She is a writer who delights in writing about the home and its challenges.

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