Soliloquy

Fostering the Family Bond

A lot has been happening lately that has threatened to destroy the family unit and values in most homes. Daily we come across in social and mainstream media, bizarre occurrences desperately seeking to hamper our family values but we have to take the bull by its horns and fight for the control of our homes for the sake of our children.

It is no longer news that many parents and guardians leave their homes very early in the morning to make a living and return late exhausted and overwhelmed with little or no time to bond with the family, especially with the children. These children are often left in the care of house helps who many a time are untrained, irrational and mischievous.

Beloved parents and children value quality time spent with them over those expensive gifts you shower on them. They want to hear you talk to them about their welfare, they want to hear you encourage them, inspire them, and inculcate survival skills in them. One way of bonding with your children is creating time, no matter what the case may be to pray with them. Before prayer, encourage your children to always exchange pleasantries with one another when they wake up, it fosters long-lasting friendship amongst siblings that continues throughout adulthood. Then, they should greet you; their parents, we, parents should not turn a blind eye to this because a child that doesn’t greet his parents, will find it difficult to greet his teachers in school and will not greet his elders should that child run into them, when such a child becomes an adult, greeting his colleagues and superiors will be a considerable problem, who knows if such an individual would last long in any organization. Favour and blessings come in different packages: through good deeds, being respectful and disciplined. So, it is our duty as parents and guardians to make our children and wards know that greeting elders is paramount. There is nothing cool about being disrespectful.

We must teach our children to pray always, we must pray with them before going to work. It helps pave the way for a great day for our children. Are they happy? They should pray. Are they sad? They should pray. Are they facing any academic challenges? They should pray. Do they feel overburdened with schoolwork? They should pray. Our children must learn to pray without ceasing for it could just be the answer to so many emotional issues.

Family bonding should be devoid of rancour, acrimony, heated argument and strife. Your children long to hear you appreciate their efforts, encourage them to do better and praise them. Family time should be about discoveries: finding out how the day of every family member went, it should be about bear hugs, forehead kisses, high fives, thumbs ups, chop knuckles, laughter and more laughter, tears of joy, fun and games. You need to create an atmosphere of familiarity in your home so that your children can easily walk up to you and share deep-rooted issues with you instead of telling their peers who usually advise them negatively.

Do you know if your child struggles with any subject in school? Are you aware that your child might be facing bullying threats in school? Do you know your teenager might have developed puppy love for a fellow student in school? Are you aware that your teenager might be going through pressure to do drugs?

We need to bond with our children and wards, thereby inculcating in them the needed tools for navigating the intricacies of adulthood. We owe it to our children. Do bond with them and see the amazing transformation.

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Jane Ikegulu

Jane Ikegulu is an oracy coach who trains and grooms students as well as individuals on self-confidence, Phonetics and public speaking. She is a writer who delights in writing about the home and its challenges.

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