The Reality of Life

I find it amazing how as young individuals, we long to spend the rest of our lives with that one person who makes our heart skip a beat, makes us smile for no reasonable reason, we go out of our way to look good and fit for that particular individual who makes us swoon at the sound of that voice, the fragrance of that perfume and that touch; you feel that you are swiftly melting away.

Then you finally get married and drip by drip, things begin to change, one of us is now too busy to listen to how our day was spent, the once endearing and caring attitude is fast fading, one of us feels smothered by the attention, hugs, calls, strokes and chats. Now, one is left wondering ‘is this what marriage is all about?’

Believe it or not, many couples, especially women spend most nights crying themselves to sleep because many a time, their fantasies of the Prince and Sleeping Beauty is often never realized. The late Princess Diana’s story is a testament to the realities of marriage. So many young women get married for the sake of love and companionship, but sadly, some of them end up with men who due to economic imbalance and work live apart from their family, far away in other countries or states distant from their families.

This explains the reason, infidelity is tearing numerous marriages apart. When nature comes in form of ovulation; the woman’s libido is high and it is highly frustrating when the man of the house isn’t there to perform his conjugal responsibility. Only discipline and the grace of God can save such a woman when this predicament befalls her.

There have been cases whereby one partner who is a freak in bed loves all the romance and drama that come with it, but unfortunately settles down with a partner who is lukewarm and totally boring in the bedroom.

Hmmmm! This is the reality of life. At the end of the day, marriage will humble you to the extent that you develop a new attitude, at least to protect your sanity and not develop high blood pressure or mentally disorder. What is the use of wetting your pillows with your tears because you are all alone with three children and your husband single-handedly decided to move to another part of the country, all in the name of making ends meet? What is the use of you chasing your husband around in town because you learnt that he is cheating on you with a strange woman? It’s of no use.  No wonder a school of thought has it that marriage is unfair, unnecessary and shrouded in hypocrisy. Well different strokes for different folks.

I rather put my knees on the floor and ask God Almighty to give me the grace to be true to him.  To all those intending to get married, ‘marriage does have its challenges, but I will spare you of them’.


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Jane Ikegulu

Jane Ikegulu is an oracy coach who trains and grooms students as well as individuals on self-confidence, Phonetics and public speaking. She is a writer who delights in writing about the home and its challenges.

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