The birth of a male child in most cultures heralds the arrival of a future heir and the possibility of a continued existence of the family name. So in most cases,this valuable asset is nurtured with kingly care and attention.

The male child, more often than not is regarded as a special being; most especially by his mother; one who shouldn’t be laboured with daily chores or bothered with the vicissitudes of life. He is seen as an individual that can do no wrong or harm. In a situation where he is an only son, constant fear dominates his mother : fear that death might claim him and fear that no other sons would follow.  This explains why most mothers turn a blind eye to the misgivings oftheir sons but would yell down house should their daughters make the same mistake. It’s no longer news,  that most male children are seen  as Kings by their mothers and thereby treated as such.  In some families, the male child is forbidden to do domestic chores: for instance, go into the kitchen to cook, not to mention to dish out his food, nor shop for food stuffs at the market. His meals are often prepared and served as well as his used utensils taken away and washed by the female members of the family.

A mother affects eternity, therefore, she mustn’t be gender biased. Children, regardless of their gender, should be properly trained. After all, Proverbs 22: 6, never said that only female children should be well_trained and I wonder which chapter like the Bible warns male children against performing domestic chores,by the way, the last time I checked, I discovered that most male chefs were simply culinary experts. We mothers need to rise to the challenge and train our sons thoroughly rather than indulge in them. If they are going to be the head of the home,they need to be well trained for the task ahead, as such nothing should be spared.

Mothers teach your sons from the onset how to be gentlemanly: to be honest, courteous, humble, hardworking, disciplined, independent and organised. You don’t need to be a man to know them. Those traits you saw in your husband that made you accept his proposal should be your yardsticks. Mothers, you either perform your role diligently or face the ugly consequences later in life. Probably at an old age, you would still be feeding, sheltering and clothing a man of forty_five or paying the school fees of four of your son’s children instead of you enjoying your pension to fullest. Mind you, if your son is not properly trained, his wife; your daughter_in_law will not be proud of you and as such may have no regards for you.

The archaic tradition of giving undue reverence to make children to the extent of not moulding their character had to cease. Mothers, the choice is yours. I wish you the very best.


Mrs Jane Ikegulu is an oracy coach who delights in the training and grooming of individuals and students to have confidence in themselves and to speak and sound right.

 She is also a writer who enjoys writing about situations revolving around the family. 

An English Educator writes from Lagos 08034786925 (SMS Only)

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