A time comes in the life of a woman when she earnestly desires to be found by her missing rib to unleash her God endowed potentials to that man who is her husband and help him build, as well as nurture their home.
On the other hand, every right thinking mother eagerly looks forward to the day, when her children will get married to their better halves and in turn, have healthy children of their own. So, under normal circumstances, every mother awaits that day ,when her son will kick aside the bachelor tag and walk down the aisle with the woman of his dreams.
Brace yourselves, when I tell you that not every mother is excited when her son ties the knot. For reasons best known to these women, their sons are better off being single than being married to ‘that particular woman’.
Stories abound of mother-in-law who have made the lives of their daughters -in- law, so, miserable even to the point of death. A particular young woman I know got married into a comfortable family here in Lagos, the couple were so much in love with each other, one could feel it from miles away, but after few years of marriage, both got worried. What was the bone of contention? The union refused to produce children which both couple eagerly wanted, although, the young man was being strong for both of them, it was obvious, that he was losing concentration. These two young people sought help from seasoned medical professionals who reassured them that their reproductive organs were healthy and perfect. So, off they went to prayer houses, it was during a deliverance cum prayer session in one holy_ spirit filled prayer house, that the pastor revealed to them the obstacle behind their set back. The pastor said to the husband of this depressed woman, ‘go home and ask your mother what your wife did to her that made her seal her womb’.
On hearing this, the woman almost fainted, she looked at her husband who was shocked and embarrassed, all at the same time. The woman broke down and began to weep. Well, to his mom’s residence, they went. They arrived, settled down and he asked her the big question. She didn’t show any sign of remorse or empathy as she began to pour out her venom on her son’s wife. ‘ On her wedding day, she didn’t greet me properly like a good bride should. Who does she think she is, after all, without me, there would be no you’, she pointed at her son. Her son’s wife in tears, knelt down in front of her and began to apologize for whatever actions that she might have committed five years ago on her wedding day. A day that every sane human being knows that the bride is always emotional, doesn’t think straight, worried and at the same time scared with a lot of ‘ what if questions’ playing in her head. That was the day this mother- in-law chose to pick at faults.
In another scenario, a young lady travelled all the way from Lagos to the Eastern part of Nigeria with her fiancé to see his parents, it may interest you to know that the parents of the young man and that of the young lady were familiar with one another even before the couple in question were born and the parents of the lady were god-parents to the second son of the family of the young man. On arrival, the future wife noticed where her prospective mother in law was standing and went to hug her as that was the culture in Igbo land. Lo and behold, this particular mother _ in_ law had no smile on her face for her son’s future wife; the daughter of the couple she had always known back then in Lagos. Nevertheless, the young lady wrapped her arms round her but to the surprise of the young lady, her fiancé’s mother stood still with her hands firmly by her side, the young lady withdrew from Mama. Mind you, this took place right before Mama’s son.
Shortly afterwards, she turned and went into the house and the young lovers followed her, both were now seated when this same woman announced that the soup she had for dinner was an old soup and she didn’t know if her son’s wife would be able to eat it. Wonders shall never end! This was a woman who was a pensioner with a top government oil parastatal, so money was not the issue. The issue was sheer wickedness! The poor lady ate the horrible soup which had lost its status, one which had seen better days. According to her, it tasted like Panadol extra. She went to bed famished, after all the exhaustive journey from Lagos. I begin to wonder, was she not informed by her son, that he was bringing home his future wife all the way from Lagos? And this was the very first time, this lady was setting foot in that house. It beats one’s imagination.
Some other so-called mothers-in-law have gone as far as poisoning their son’s wife to death, all in the name of what? Jealousy? Rivalry? Insecurity? Dear mother-in-law, please let go of your son, he is not your husband and you will not marry him. Every mother-in-law should desist from utterances and actions that are provocative, which would make you earn the negative title, ‘ mother-in-law from hades’, home-breaker’ and the likes.
Mothers give your lives to Christ and often rededicate your lives to him. Start praying for your children at an early age to marry Godly partners and leave the rest to Him. Do not fight God’s battle for Him by maltreating your daughter- in-law. I wonder if this was the way your own mother-in-law treated you in your time as a young wife. Did you enjoy it? Be wise, be good to your daughter- in-law. You seem to have forgotten that when you are much older and frail, your daughter -in- law will nurse you. Stop acting as God, for you are certainly not. Well, the choice is yours.
Jane Ikegulu is a seasoned teacher, a writer and a voice over artiste who delights in writing about family matters. She enjoys conversing with young people, as they are creative, adventurous, internet savy and futuristic. However, she is perplexed that so many youths are being led astray these days.